From the Files of John Gacek

Here’s a political quote I saw online today:

Also, why would I ever support a party that seems to be populated by inept criminals? If the Democratic Party is just as corrupt (according to Republican apologists) then they are at least talented enough to not get caught. - Fark user GitOffaMyLawn

Here’s a bonus (presumably faked) safety picture I came across as well:

Gotta love it…

Here’s another one for you…
A young man excitedly tells his mother he’s fallen in love and is going to get married.
He says, “Just for fun, Ma, I’m going to bring over two other female friends in addition to my fiance, and you try and guess which one I’m going to marry.”
The next day, he brings three beautiful women into the house and sits them down on the couch and they chat for a while.
He then says, “Okay, Ma. Guess which one I’m going to marry.”
She immediately replies, “The red-head in the middle.”
“That’s amazing, Ma. You’re right, how did you know?”
“I don’t like her,” replied his mother

I was reading an article on hunting in the Herald this morning and came upon this joke in the online comments:

” What do you call a vegetarian with diarrhea?

A salad shooter. “

Just thought I’d share that with ya…

A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband was not in their bed.<br />
<br />
She puts on her robe and goes downstairs to look for him and finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a hot cup of coffee in front of him. He appears to be in deep thought, just staring at the wall.<br />
<br />
She watches as he wiped a tear from his eye and takes a sip of his coffee.<br />
<br />
"What's the matter, dear?" she whispers as she steps into the room. "Why are you down here at this time of night?"<br />
<br />
The husband looks up from is coffee, "Do you remember 20 years ago when we were dating, and you were only 16?", he asks solemnly.<br />
<br />
The wife is touched to tears thinking that her husband is so caring and sensitive. "Yes, I do," she replies.<br />
<br />
The husband paused. The words were not coming easily. "Do you remember when your father caught us in the back seat of my car making love?"<br />
<br />
"Yes, I remember," said his wife, lowering herself into a chair beside him.<br />
<br />
The husband continued. "Do you remember when he shoved the shotgun in my face and said, 'Either you marry my daughter, or I will send you to jail for 20 years?"<br />
<br />
"I remember that, too," she replied softly.<br />
<br />
He wiped another tear from his cheek and said … "I would have gotten out today."<br />
<br />
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<img src="http://www.johngacek.com/blog/templates/default/img/emoticons/LoudMouth2.jpg" alt="~BigJohn~" style="display: inline; vertical-align: bottom;" class="emoticon" />